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Lost and Found: 2020​-​2022

by AMMRA

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1.
Seems to me that you could figure it all out, But what do I know? Achieve your dreams: be an inventor who has no doubts. But science does! Takes you to a place you love… On and on and on and on Teacher teacher, how does learning sound? Sounds like the feeling that we get when you’re around. Then we take a walk… Geography lessons. When you get there you are always on time. Everyone is on time when clock time is just a guideline! There are just so many things to do... The real secret to develop a contented self: It is helpful for the young ones to get to play. First we will build then we destroy Turn toys into maps and trees into toys Put it together, take it apart Imagine with science, experiment with art. Because there’s always somewhere to begin, On this campus of friends. In the place you love, on and on and on… Seems to me that you could figure it all out, But what do I know? On and on and on…
2.
Rio toque batería … Keep riding on the ride and the cymbals, hanging on To the beat The beat of the kick, the click of your stick keep banging on To the streets The streets are alive but everyone’s inside, drumming on Still makes sense The sense of this place is in outer space a bubble planet Here we come Here we drum Here we come It’s easy enough, bubble planet may be far but we have a ship Full of friends Some friends we invent, recurring characters spend a lifetime making up the way The way to your heart: invented stories to start, But also food and water and love Essential past times, essentially passing the time On a changing planet Here we come… Rio toque batería … This beat’s another reason to drum on This fun’s another reason to keep on the story-o Rio
3.
In keeping to myself, staying up late sedated, I feel the need the need the need to be sublated. Am I sleeping like a stone or sleeping like I’m stoned? Am I needing comfort or am I happily alone? Forgotten dreams of dubious design Annoying reminder of the fears that I hide Avoid the void or jump into my mind? Who cares to think to want to try to decide? So Get into it now Cuz you know this may be the last time (you try) Get into it now Lest you crash, or trip on your lifeline It’s a medicine keeping me alive It’s a blessing that really really suits the vibe It’s confusing to have to choose a side But I do, again and again. …still I’m learning a lot. Each time is the time that you got. Get into it now Cuz you know this may be the last time (or not) Get into it now or never, whichever is kind of a lot Get into it now or later, whatever, just Get into it now you are precious, precious
4.
Everything in your mind is safe when you release the brakes Stand back as the plates shake An earthquake arrives when you notice it’s nice outside Feel around In the mush Great synaptic shocks on the way to your heart Your blood cells fall apart To your doom very soon But close enough away To this day there’s no break Cerberus R us Stepping in and out of the shade Homeostasis is great Enjoying these momentary breaks When the passage of time is a crime for which you For which you are so guilty But an alibi is forthcoming Won’t you tell me a story? But don’t make it don’t make it don’t make it boring A new experience, experienced often A test of your resolve A force repeating, on an object you’ve scrutinized enough So when you gonna find a way to give it up? Repeat repeating stimulus Attention fills you up Your heart of palms beating Only the lucky can kind of turn it off So when you gonna find a way to turn it off? But it’s enough to turn it up And it’s enough to fill it up And it’s enough to treat it with love To fill it with love To fill it with love Everything in your mind is safe
5.
Irrepressible kindness plots To reverse the blow and hit the spot A long way to go to heal the breach With big waves to ride and hills to reach I know That’s how it goes “Everybody knows” Said Leonard Cohen A weird old man Maybe he’s joking Irresistible ego trip One can’t help oneself, no point to it A relationship to what’s outside: That begins with breath and can end with pride Unless… You open up your chest Consider what is best For me and all the rest of You, love, are the strangest thing, a living being, a making sense machine Don’t forget the very best of what we left behind The songs the stars the fire, a well rehearsed design At the moment I only see what’s in front of me But behind me crests a wave made up of hills we have made Their healing sounds once mine The lands we change with time Into what we want to make of it And what it makes of you and your shit A reciprocal relation shit Metabolic rift, let’s end with it, right now
6.
We’ve known each other a while, our chapters fulfilled long ago Our family lives filled up with friendship and love enough - But now I have a crush on you. Yeah, that’s right, I have a crush on you. I had a crazy dream last night, And you were in it… Should I tell you or not? Shit or get off the pot? Should we try to tie up these knots, and see how strong they are? We’ve known each other a while, seems a pretty matched lifestyle. Would like to see you more than once in a while, And maybe get to kiss like in my dreams, which woke me up Because I have a crush I have a crush I have a crush on you… Yeah, that’s right. Yeah, I don’t know why I have a crush I have a crush I have a crush on you…
7.
Thunderbolts and sounds of lightning Static on the tips of your hair Imagining the ends of this despair Failures and the crops are writhing on vines Try to appreciate what remains there But will it be enough to get us through winter Will it be enough to ride it out? I can’t do this I can’t do that what can I do? Try to make a difference today. Tomorrow I’ll wonder if I still care. Supposed to put my mask on before I put on yours, but what if we are all out of masks? Will we have enough to get through summer? Will we have enough to ride it out? Will we survive this harrowing heat alive? And what of the outside? Some day summertime will end On that day who will be your friend? Bring some rain not some gasoline Go outside during quarantine But will it be enough to get us through summer? Will it be enough to ride it out? We will survive this scarcity alive! But what of the outside?

about

This collection of songs started coming together in early 2020, and then made the slog through 2020 (pandemic, wildfires, isolation, etc), 2021 (finalizing my PhD dissertation, more pandemic, more fires), and into 2022. With help in recording it, I managed to turn songs drafted on keyboards into full-band arrangements, and even write lyrics.

Less a 'kids' album than the last one, this still includes songs inspired by (or co-written to start by) Rio. However, it is clear that the general vibe is a bit darker, more related to the doom and gloom we all have been living over the past couple years.

Still, I hope it's not a downer. Thanks for listening.

credits

released December 9, 2022

AMMRA: played all instruments and sang all vocals; did artwork
Forrest Lawrence: recorded and engineered and mixed and mastered

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about

AMMRA San Francisco, California

AMMRA = Antonio Miguel Martín Roman-Alcalá

Once musician, future musician, now dad, fan of the red and black

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